I’ve been asked numerous times in the last couple of weeks “how do you do it?”

In teaching a fairly disciplined and demanding form of yoga, with a dedicated following of students (who are mostly teachers and facilitators themselves) with whom I establish deep relationships, owning yoga studios and running them full time for over 15 years, performing 6+ energy/trauma healing facilitation sessions per week, plus holding space for my teenaged son, family, my partner, my friends, and my interfaith church community, it’s a good question. Who (or what) is the healer’s healer? And how does one have the time and energy to hold this much space without burning out?
This work can be grueling (and downright dangerous) if the giving is not coming from an abundant place of deep self love and care and divine connection through daily cultivated action, nurturing the openness of the channel of big energy, rather than trying to give from a limited place. These items below come from a place of experience in making many mistakes – both with myself and with ignorantly trusting others along the way, and the continued learning of it is ever-blossoming.
Here are my top 12 (they’re all priority 1):
You’ve gotta earn it. You gotta walk the walk. We’re not healers because we’ve gotten a fancy degree, we’re healers because we’ve known what it is to heal ourselves first, as a part of our spiritual practices, have been inspired by our progress and have gained the training and experience to help others do it too. There’s no guessing, and we know that this is not an academic armchair sorta thing. We’ve got to hold the presence of a Real Deal Seeker on the path, and so there is lots to do and feel and be open to first within ourselves. Every day, forever and always. People come to us for guidance and reassurance. Embody that guidance, practice what you preach and live the reassurance you give to others. Be powerful and confident enough that others can borrow your courage and conviction. The lifestyle of a healer is a disciplined one, no doubt. And the only reason we teach/share/facilitate is because we’ve become so adept at doing our thing for ourselves that we are guided to share our embodied knowledge and path as a compassionate offering. I do not teach anything without 5,000-10,000 hours (this is 3-10 years of regular practice!) of working the techniques first for myself, knowing them inside out, and then figuring out how to break the "rules" to find freedom and individual resonance within the techniques. And only then will I offer it to others if it seems applicable in any given moment. With a wealth of tools and offerings that are not just in our back pockets but in our cells, we co-create the safe container for others. This could be anything from yoga alignment to self-regulation techniques. Walking the walk means that we never learn something with the goal to teach it – we’re learning something new to add to our own repertoire of self-care techniques to continue our quests for honoring the Greatest and Highest Good. Teaching things we aren’t sure about or don’t have mastery in delivers uncertainty and mistrust. Students are looking to be held, even if they don’t know what that means. And adept students, who are seeking to integrate their practices and really grow, can taste inauthenticity a mile away – and it never tastes safe. Ensure that you have cultivated a place of safety within yourself no matter where you are and where you go so that students and clients feel safe to trust and let go inside your container.
You’re not the mirror itself, you’re the light that allows the mirror to be seen. This is the hardest one for newer teachers and facilitators to appreciate, and it’s still one that I’ll mess up on sometimes, but if you ask anyone who has facilitated as a way of life for 10 years or more, you’ll hear the same thing: it’s not your job to tell them what they need. It’s your job to offer them the power of light (which you’ve cultivated for yourself) to remove their obstacles to perception. If it's true, they'll find it on their own. Where it might seem obvious to you that a client or student is ready for a particular lesson, if you choose it for them, you are taking control of their process and therefore disempowering them to find their own path. The teacher is the guide and remover of obstacles to allow light to hit the mirror with clarity; not the mirror itself.
Be a hollow bone. In Shamanism, the job of the Shaman is to facilitate by way of clearing others’ energy. This means that the Shaman absorbs and filters unneeded energy to make way for needed energy, using her body and mind and heart to do the clearing. In order to do this, the Shaman has to be a true “hollow bone.” If there is a build-up of unneeded energy in the Shaman while she’s facilitating healing of others, how is it going to filter through in the moment to clear the way for the task at hand with others? The last thing we want is for our unneeded energy to enter into the open hearts of someone who trusts us to help them with their work. The idea is that we either show up as a hollow bone, or we have inner work to do before we show up. The Shaman is comfortable with this process of deep transparency and humility and alchemy, and performs it as a service to the Divine, all day long.
Tend to your inner child’s needs. I personally tend to myself all day, every day, all day long. One proverbial hand on my own heart, while my other hand(s) is/are doing the external work in the world. There is almost never a moment I take my awareness away from myself when I am with others. And I spend a lot of time alone, tending to myself. If you want to keep your shadows in check (and as a healer the most important part of the job is to remain neutral and compassionate), your inner child must be well cared for and feeling abundant, light, happy and supported. An inner child without its needs met is a recipe for disaster as a healer. Sleep, as culturally unpopular as it may be, is one of the most important ways that the body and spirit rejuvenates itself. Get your little one to sleep by 10pm most every night. As a healer, it’s your job to be rejuvenated. What other ways do you rejuvenate yourself? Children have needs for fun, play, lightness, ease, non-adult things. Pick up an instrument. Contain your processing so that you’re playing, and attending to your little one’s needs more than processing adult drama. Eat nourishing foods - lots of fruits and vegetables and grains and proteins and fats throughout the day in a rhythm that you’ve tested and works on your body. Make yourself laugh. Do silly things. Have a sweet, devotional routine that you enjoy daily to meet your basic needs. Consistency is key here to build reserves of resilience and inner trust.
Cultivate a support system of strong lightworkers. A basic must, similar to sleep, is that it’s important to have a support system of people around us who are as strong, if not stronger, than ourselves. This can be in the form of other healers who you hire for their services, as well as friends doing the work in their lives as well. This ensures that you can pick up the phone and have someone else hold space for you when a co-regulatory release is necessary for your experience. Listen to these needs and try never to feel isolated. Reach out instead. You know you can always reach out to me :)
Live/eat/breathe the seasons of nature.
The closer we live to the Earth, the more potent of a hollow bone we can become. Eating local seasonal foods, using the sun to determine the time that we arise each morning is all a part of this process. Put your feet/hands/arms/everythings into the Earth daily, handing over to Her any obstacles you might feel in your body. Feel the electromagnetic neutrality that Pachamama provides, clarifying your nervous system with each moment you make contact with Her. Learn the seasons, the pagan calendar (no one knows the seasons better than the pagans), understand Traditional Chinese Medicine’s and Ayurveda’s seasonal interpretations and apply them to your life and system. Learn how to be fully aligned with the Earth every day, and stay connected to the insights that arise as a result of these ancient practices.
Every healer needs a healer. Every teacher needs a teacher.
The continuation of whatever our soul is here to do to grow and evolve is our conscious responsibility. If we are not working alongside someone who can hold space for our continued growth, and pushes us to that edge regularly, we are living in a state of ignorance and avoidance, and that is always going to translate back to our students and create an uncertain container.
Working on our growth means having a teacher, an accountability partner, a therapist, an acupuncturist, a bodyworker, etc. Having multiple eyes on you brings transparency and allows for a consistently clean hollow bone. No one does anything alone, and we go farther together.
Schedule into your life at least an hour of do-nothing time every day. Give yourself lots of space to recover every day. If you can hold space for others, you hold that space the best(est) for yourself. That means that when you rest, you lie down to rest your back, put the phone/tablet/blue light in another room, listen to chill music, nature sounds or to silence, you stare at the ceiling or the wall and let your mind rest and reset. I can’t speak enough to the power of doing nothing. We’re here to BE moreso than DO. BE the light, and then there’s no worry about how to shine it.
Meditate Daily.
I interviewed a Buddhist therapist/teacher a bunch of years back to see if she would be the right fit for me. The first question I asked is, do you have a daily spiritual practice? And is meditation included? She was taken aback by the question and said that while she really doesn’t have a daily practice, she does walk her dog every day, and she’s considering re-starting her meditation practice that she had dropped. I chose to continue my search. Meditation helps us to focus our minds, manage our time, take ownership over ourselves, hold strong in the midst of a storm, dispel the darkness, uplift the negative, be connected to Source, bring ourselves to clarity and presence and many many more. All these things are quick back-pocket tools in a healer’s toolbelt. Meditation is key – and often it is appropriate to apply a preventative practice in the morning and a restorative sit before bed. You never know what’s gonna come your way in any given day as a healer, and being ready means living the life, walking the walk and being on the ready, without overfunctioning.
Watch for signs of your own dysregulation throughout the day. We’re no good to anyone if we’re disregulated. Watch for signs like shame, judgment, forecefulness, black & white thinking, overexpression (too many words), underexpression (not enough words), body pain, chest tightness, psoas tightness, difficulty in breathing, slothful energy, despondency, victim mindset, complaining, ignorance to Source, attachment to a particular outcome, control, manipulation, avoidance, anxiety, feeling a need to be heard/seen a certain way, or anything else that blocks your channel from its full expression through you as a hollow bone. Essentially, if we feel anything other than acceptance, compassion and love, the priority of healing efforts comes right back to us in that moment. No external work or validation will do.
Take scheduled time off to retreat throughout the year. I hold space in 8-10 week sessions of time, and then I take 2-3 weeks off between sessions to recharge anything that may be depleted from my own energy stores. This is rejuvenative to everyone I connect with, but most importantly, it helps me reconnect back to myself. Since we’re human, we all have the opportunity to embrace our tendencies toward codependency and disregulation. When we take time off with the intention of growing our inner connection to ourselves regularly and without the influence of others in our lives, we have a chance to really feel the lustrous power of our own energy, and therefore have more motivation to hold and protect it as sacred space.
Imposter Syndrome is a sign that everything is as it should be. Doing this work is unglamorous and messy. Don't let anyone make you believe that it should be a certain way - again, it's really more about BEing than DOing. Being aware of and accepting of this beautiful mess while still being able to channel Divine Love through the pores is a clear indication that we’re probably moving in the right direction – keep going from here – and keep asking all the hard questions.
As always, I’m here to connect, to co-regulate, to co-exist and co-create. Let’s be the light together!
Love, LB
Comentários